I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
