During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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