im about as happy as oj after his trial
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did we literally take a cab across the street
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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