Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
