dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
wow bdsm is so cute
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
