He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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