I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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