Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
