Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
