Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Come see our sink grown plant.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
