I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
