he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
