If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
