There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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