i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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