shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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