I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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