So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
