is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
