There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
