I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
