Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
