Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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