Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
