Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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