You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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