Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
