So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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