Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she peed on how many people?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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