Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
