fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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