I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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