Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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