I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
