check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
