What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
