just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
