ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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