Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
