i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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