Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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