Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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