I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
