I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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