If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have fence marks all over my body
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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