You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
