we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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