I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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