you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
