dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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